In a stunning turn of events that many are describing as “literally the most exciting thing that’s ever happened, like, ever’, Ememess Press have announced the immediate availability of a Kindle edition of MORE TOMORROW & OTHER STORIES.
Despite the fact this 2003 collection won the International Horror Guild Award and contains the ground-breaking tales of unease that established Michael Marshall Smith as a household name (within his own household), the publishers have been astounded by the sheer magnitude and fervor of the response.
“Never in a bazillion years did we expect anything like this,” publisher spokesperson Dee Muir said, speaking with phones hooked under both ears. "We’ve had to build a whole new Internet to cope with the demand, and are commissioning entire continents of virtual trees from which to fashion these eBooks. It’s insane.”
Excitement about the news transcends all demographic and age boundaries. “I don’t care what happens in any future sporting events of any kind,” unemployed Bakersfield father of nine Pete Jarrett was reported as saying this morning, “even if they involve my home team. After the MORE TOMORROW announcement, it’s all kind of small beer.” Legendary movie director Stephen Spielberg agreed: “The Oscars? Who gives a shit?’ he said. “This MORE TOMORROW news has blown my fucking mind.”
Children across the nation have dismissed their upcoming birthdays as ‘blah’ in the light of the news, with San Mateo tween Amanda Huginkiss declaring ten minutes ago that she would probably open her presents “at some point, but only after I’ve heard a bit more about this MORE TOMORROW thing.” The incumbent recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize, Ikyyr Rømsstyr, reportedly neglected to book a flight to Oslo for the ceremony, so wrapped up was he in the unfolding news of the long-awaited eBook — and after being informed of the announcement the Dalai Lama was seen cartwheeling down a hillside screaming with delight.
Only presidential hopeful Hilary Clinton set a restrained tone, initially responding to the news with a reserved "Booyah", but was later observed punching the air and performing pelvic thrusts with what onlookers described as "disturbing intensity".
Today has been declared a holiday in many countries across the world, so that overjoyed readers can show their appreciation in parades and other spontaneous public demonstrations of joy. At time of writing, millions of people have actually lost consciousness as a result of the uncontrollable delirium caused by the news, and so — to avoid crashing the web and its associated financial infrastructures — now would probably be a good time to zip over and pick up a copy.
You'll tell your grandchildren about this day. You know you will.