Tonight will see the second episode of INTRUDERS, on BBCA in the US. [No, we still don't know when it'll be shown in the UK. Soon as I know, so shall you.] In the run-up to the premiere I had #9 on the brain, and took to tweeting a different 9 picture every day. And you know what? It was fun. Yes, I should doubtless get out more. A lot more. So should you. In fact, stop reading this and go for a walk. I'll wait.

Back? Good. My brain's about as full of 9 as it's healthy to be, so now I'm handing on The Joy of 9 to you. During each week of the six episodes remaining after tonight, I urge you to seek out — or create — 9s, and photograph them. Extra credit will be given for unusual beauty, hugeness, ugliness, extraordinariness, tininess, mundanity, spookiness, inventiveness...

Please read all of the following very carefully:

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Inadequate Rules:

1. A maximum of three entries per week per person. Give us your best shot/s. 2. Only enter a given image once, please. Not week after week. 3. Don't tweet the pictures direct @ me, but to the world at large... 4. ... and all entries need to be hashtagged with both #intruders and #9ememess [otherwise they won't be seen]. You can start putting them up from now... for the first judging, next weekend. 5. You'll need to follow me on Twitter, too, so I can DM each week's winner. Don't fret, you can unfollow again afterwards. Be like that. See if I care. No, seriously. In your face. 6. Closing time each week is midnight PST on Saturday. Each week's winner will be announced by midnight PST the next day (Sunday). 7. No purchase necessary, except in places where it is. Though if you'd like to purchase me a pint at some point, you'll hear little argument. And no, INTRUDERS doesn't have to be currently viewable in your country or territory or house for you to enter. 8. The 9 needs to be created or at least photographed by you. Don't be stealing other people's images. That's so not cool. 9. I'm sure there's a bunch of gnarly T&Cs I've failed to think of, but you get the idea. Don't give me grief. I don't make the rules. Okay, on this occasion, I actually have made the rules. It makes me realize how hard making the rules is. Let's spare a thought for the rule-makers. They're people too. Apart from whoever made up that one about how your hair always suddenly looks a bit less crap on the day you've got a haircut booked. That's just annoying.

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Every week a winner will at the very least receive a copy of the HarperCollins tie-in edition of THE INTRUDERS (when it becomes available later in the year), signed to whomever you wish, in any manner short of libel. Yes, you can win more than one week's competition... in which case, we'll talk about further prizes.

An overall victor — the best 9 in the entire season — will receive something even more awesome. I'm not sure what yet, but rest assured: it shall be spoken of in legend and song. I will liaise with the cast, crew and production supremos, and see what we can come up with.

Please RT and pass this on. I appreciate that doing so marginally decreases the chances of you winning, but it will also hopefully save me from admitting there's only two entries each week, both submitted by me under false names, and I don't like either of them. And you don't want me to feel that way, do you? Do you really want to make me sad? I hope not.

Plus — the more people who enter, the cooler the all-season prize is likely to be...

So... The stolid 9 of a neighbour's mailbox, or on a Safeway price sticker. The eroded remains of an elegant 9 traced in the sand. Nine breakfast burritos arranged to look a bit like Stonehenge. A still image of a mime artist successfully evoking Beethoven's choral symphony while nine arcs of lightning briefly touch the ground around them. (Hint — if you can pull that off, you're in with a good chance of winning). An improbably vast 9 on the far side of the moon, a thousand miles wide, made out of leftover ballerinas.

However the urge takes you.

This is our life. Not theirs. And these are our nines.

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